I read something interesting online, something that for once I agreed with. Written by a woman who had lived with and through extreme eating disorders, she said something like ‘judgement of our bodies, or the whole I’m-Fat depression is usually brought on by something completely outside of the mirror’.
I found that interesting. I am over-weight. I know this. At 5ft 6, even with the stereotypical hour glass shape, sixteen and a bit stone does not look good. But at the same time, almost confirming this lady’s statements, there is a lot more going on in my life than my size.
Just like so many bloggers who write keenly about their weight, I do not eat badly and I do not eat a lot. I genuinely believe that some people are meant to be big and others are meant to be small. But at the same time, the big people of the world should know it’s unhealthy to transform from ‘big’ to ‘huge’, whilst the small others shouldn’t move from ‘small’ to ‘miniscule’.
But that doesn’t answer my own question.
Sometimes I don’t judge the way I look, sometimes I go for weeks without looking into a mirror and feeling pure disgust. And then suddenly that will change. It will be the main thing I focus on and slide into a depression because of it.
Further on in this interesting woman’s post was advice on how to overcome the ‘I’m-Fat-Depression’. Of course we’ve heard the technique before – a sheet of paper with two columns with the negatives on one and the positives on the other. So I thought why do it on a rubbish sheet of blank paper that will just get shoved in a drawer? Lets do it here.
This blog will be blunt and honest, both positive and negative, happy and sad – and completely me. Hopefully you can relate in some way.